School sports day: A time to suppress our nightmares and man (or woman) up

Let me press a plastic cup of flat lemonade into your hand and insist that you buy a raffle ticket, because it's school sports day season here in the UK; that notable occasion when we come together with our fellow parents to shiver at the side of an impromptu track on whatever grassy area our child's school can find, bellowing encouragement and definitely not being irritated at all by the long-legged eleven year old who wins everything going.